@samalmightysam: You don't love me? Don't worry, the first step is denial.
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@AnitaHelmet: I just want to apologize to all the guys I dated BEFORE I started using Prozac. And to their wives. And their local fire departments.
@Sorrowscopes: Gemini: You may find yourself wondering if you're dreaming or not. A simple test is to punch a cop in the face.
@BoogTweets: Me: Your hair smells so good. Which shampoo is that? My Boss: This is inappropriate Me: Your skin is so… My Boss:*Turns off shower* OUT!