@samalmightysam: You don't love me? Don't worry, the first step is denial.
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@chelliet22: Winter. When trees are bare, and you can see into your neighbor's yard, and omg, that's Mrs. Hood's body he's putting into their fire pit!
@carlyme23: If you want her - tell her. If you need her - show her. If you yearn for her - touch her. Just make sure her husband's not at home.
@fro_vo: asked my dentist out but she brushed me off, said she only dates plaque guys Not gonna paste any more time on that cavitease, it’s her floss
@Rollmaninoz: *Rolls window down* Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: is it because I’m literally running down the street pretending to be a car?