@samalmightysam: You don't love me? Don't worry, the first step is denial.
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@DontTouchMyWine: Him: I love redheads. I could totally see you being a great wife. Me: I could totally see you being a great chalk outline.
@DirtMcTurd: Any shampoo can be volume control shampoo if you cram the bottle directly into your kids mouth
@Tommytoughstuff: "Come on man! I'm sure your superpower is cool! Show me! "Ok" *stares at two glasses of soda* the diet is on the right." "Wow um..neat..."