@1Happytwit: You don't need to use your words if you're carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
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@ariscott: Social media: We're getting rid of chronological order. Everyone: NO! SM: Cool, right?! Everyone: NO! SM: Glad you're excited!
@MarcusOreally: Boredom is the leading cause of pregnancy. Unless you're on Twitter 24/7. Then it becomes the leading form of birth control.
@whatmaddness: It’s fine when farmers use souls of old plants 2 strengthen crops, but when I do it w/ ppl “I’m a witch” & “dear god she’s getting stronger”