@1Happytwit: You don't need to use your words if you're carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
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@hippieswordfish: *emerges from a large magic lamp,* it's me the Reasonable genie, please only wish for things like 'drive me to the airport'
@SSDated: If Kevin Bacon never said "want some bacon with your eggs" to a lonely chick in a bar, life just doesn't make sense anymore.
@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: Where do people go when they die? Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not? 3: It's full of dead people.
@UnFitz: Her: For once I'd like a man to just sweep me off my feet. Me: *slowly ties Karate Kid headband around forehead*