@andrewmonea: You don't need to wear clothes in public if you can run fast enough.
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@SimplyNamedTron: One a scale of keystone light to jaeger how drunk are you sir? PANCAKE ok I need you to step out of the car
@LoveNLunchmeat: Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
@Shingaboop: Coworker: GOOD MORNING! Me: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee Coworker: But you don't drink coffee Me: Exactly
@DeanB15: I got drunk with my dad once and I asked him if his boner curved to the left too, he replied "No, you got that from your mother". :(