@andrewmonea: You don't need to wear clothes in public if you can run fast enough.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Wear green for St Patty's Day! You don't wanna get punched! -You mean pinched [flashback to the 6 people I punched earlier] It's pinched?
@MUMSIEesq: [HOSPITAL] DOCTOR: "A-tisket a-tasket, you're gonna need a casket." WIFE: "What?" DR: "Your husband's knee surgery did not go well AT ALL."
@WheelTod: The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear.