@_SingleBabyMama: You don't realize how much you miss your privacy until you have a toddler hugging you the entire time you pee.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
@natedog2049: Serial killers start their day by eating breakfast at McDonalds. Let me rephrase. They arent serial killers until they order & have to wait.
@GetCougarized: I bought a laser pointer, but I don't have a cat. So I 'borrowed' my neighbor's toddler, but he doesn't seem to get it. Babies are stupid.
@sarcasm_inc: I would dress like Batman more often, but I cant run the risk of giant aliens invading and mistaking me for a large Pez dispenser.