@_SingleBabyMama: You don't realize how much you miss your privacy until you have a toddler hugging you the entire time you pee.
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@aveuaskew: You said you couldn't live without me, so it's very inconsiderate of you not to be dead.
@ruinedpicnic: me: maybe those nazi salutes... we're just them reaching for the stars... McDonald's manager: this is the fastest I've ever fired someone
@KateWhineHall: *runs in place* *cracks knuckles* *stretches neck* *takes a deep breath* *heads toward buffet*
@brendohare: The doctors all doubted me. They all thought I couldn't do it. They said I couldn't fight them all at once and well, they were 100% right