@Midgetspar: You don't understand how hard it is to play Dungeons & Dragons when your dragon is gay, fabulous and always protesting violence. It's hard.
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@Scdavis24: That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like.... 'I've got nothing man.'
@capricecrane: I bet that Heimlich was just a perv who molested people from behind, and one time accidentally saved someone from choking.
@KeetPotato: wife: "im sorry, he has to try everything before he buys it" store owner: "it's okay" me: [lying in a coffin] "the first one was better"