@sixfootcandy: You dunk one baby’s foot in ranch dressing and suddenly you’re banned from the salad bar.
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@BoomBoomBetty: I finally feel peaceful and my mind is quiet. Universe: Have her ex from 15 years ago contact her out of the blue and apologize for things she’d forgotten.
@TheIronSherk: If my ex had an autobiography it would be called "Mein Cramps" What, did you NOT SEE that one coming?
@InternetHippo: *gets a series of eyebrow rings* *hangs little curtains from them to cover my face*
@hellohappy_time: [me when I see a dog walking alone without a leash] exactly who is representing you my lad