@Aimiekins: You enter. "I've been expecting you," I say from behind the massive swivel chair. I put too much leg into turning around & spin for 5 mins.
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@ericsshadow: [flying remote control helicopter near my wife] GET THAT THING AWAY FROM MY- [helicopter gets tangled in her hair & now I'm a dead person]
@FierceMess: Wanna live a long life? Get married. I guarantee you'll change your mind real quick.
@ValeeGrrl: My son wants to play the cello next year and his reason is "cuz I'd get to sit down a lot" and I've never felt more related to him.