@Storminika: You ever drive around with an old person who knows where everything didn't used to be?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jakob_huber: On a bad dinner date? Bump the table with your knee to make the water in your glass ripple. Claim a T-Rex is coming. Sprint out the door.
@Dash_of_Crazy: My cat is rubbing herself all over me because she wants me to stroke her. It's like she's a drunk version of me.
@ilovepie84: I put a message in a bottle and threw it in the Ocean. The note said "I have Tuberculosis and I coughed in this bottle"
@ThePocketJustin: Don't you hate it when you misjudge a moment of silence and lean in for a kiss. Worst police interrogation ever.