@Storminika: You ever lied so much on a resume, you're actually shocked that they gave you the job? I mean look at me, do I look like an astronaut?
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@SuperApple80: It’s like my kid challenging me to this pillow fight doesn’t realize I’ll swing for the fences.
@FrazzleMyGimp: [zombie apocalypse] GUY: It’s not safe here let’s head north. ME: No, let’s go down to the sewers. GUY: What’s in the sewers? ME: [thinking about ninja turtles] Protection.
@BigHeb7: Free advice: Saying "meaty shaft" in a corporate meeting is like saying bomb on an airplane.