@zero3_benz: You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
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@CrazyIdiot6: Friends- What did you get for your birthday? Her- He went to Jared Friends- You're engaged!!! Her- No Jared is our weed dealer
@AnOrangeSNES: *Snoop walks into a classroom* Snoop: Tell me about the Big Bong Theory Teacher: It's the Big Bang Theory *Snoops walks out disappointed*
@KalvinMacleod: My wife made me pack my own bag for vacation and now I have to figure out how to wear potato chips.
@causticbob: I was feeling very depressed the other week. I went to my psychiatrist and told him I was suicidal. He asked me to pay in advance.