@alldrolledup: You ever pump your gas slowly on purpose so no one realizes you only had $3 on you
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@storming01: The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth.
@TheToddWilliams: ELEPHANT COP: I recognize you LION: I just have one of those familiar faces ELEPHANT COP: You don't know who the hell you're dealing with
@theevilwriter: Tip: if you often say things like "there is no i in team but there *is* one in incompetence" they won't ask you to mentor new coworkers.