@jctwritesstuff: You ever randomly hear your mom singing 'Candy Shop' and then die a little inside?
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@sock_holliday: [Doctor's Office] Doctor: The bad news is you have 3 months to live. Me: What's the good news? Doctor: You should make it til Shark Week
@Hobo_Splendido: Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.