@Storminika: You ever see your kid looking so dirty at school and don't wanna pick him up? I just drove pass mine now like, 'Hell no, that is not my kid'
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@The_MartiniGirl: I love when people tell me to get my act together and I'm like who the hell is acting geez.
@KevinFarzad: Grand Theft Auto reminds me of Florida. Except one lets you shoot people without consequence and the other is a video game.
@ChipKellysBalls: To celebrate Boxing Day on Friday, I had a five minute training montage and beat the shit out of the biggest Russian I could find ...