@Storminika: You ever see your kid looking so dirty at school and don't wanna pick him up? I just drove pass mine now like, 'Hell no, that is not my kid'
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@ibid78: "Babe there's something I've always wanted to do.." *tenderly moves her bangs away from her eyes then scotch tapes them to her forehead*
@doctorveritas: "I've got chills. They're multiplying." "Sir, you're going into shock. Please stop narrating--" "And I'm losing control." "Sir!"
@david8hughes: [the followin is based on a true story] *clips of me hittin my shin on my bed every nite for a year* Narrator: its like he forgets its there
@MsSkarsgaard: Everything is so great right now, she exclaimed. Morgan Freeman: It WAS great. And so it was now that the universe decided to intervene.