@AndRyanTF: You ever watch a really stupid person for like 10 mins and wonder how they haven't been hit by a train or carried off by a giant eagle yet?
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@TheAliciaKraft: STEVE: you misspelled my name ME: Oh uh it's a joke LATER, TO STOVE: I'll make you another cake when he leaves
@KenJennings: "This tweet isn't funny yet. Welp, better remove all the commas and capital letters! Ah, PERFECTION!" --me
@zachreinert03: I think marriage is probably like having a business partner. No that's not true, probably weird if your business partner takes your kids