@jwoodham: You give me butterflies. I give them back. Please stop handing me insects, it's really weird.
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@Cheeseboy22: If I wanted to drive my wife insane, I'd secretly raise a colony of bees & place one new bee inside of her car each morning for ten years.
@RealDMK: I now realize that my mom did not actually have eyes in the back of her head. She just did as I do, randomly yell out "stop it" every 30 min
@SondraDeeMe: [in bed] BF: Why are you scared? ME: Cuz your Mom's here BF: She's not bad *Mom hands me pregnancy test* This better be positive by sunrise