@noog: You god damn morons. All these celebrity nudes were leaked by the Illuminati to distract us from important shit like karate and hoverboards.
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@Token_Geezer: The fact that twitter is at it's busiest during working hours probably tells you all you need to know about the worlds economic problems
@macchiatonumb: *Me getting pulled over* Me:license and registration please? Guy police officer :I pulled u over.. Me:do u really want to argue with me?
@Coepacetic: At the disco last night. They played twist. I did the twist. They played jump. I jumped. They played come on Eileen. I got kicked out.