@noog: You god damn morons. All these celebrity nudes were leaked by the Illuminati to distract us from important shit like karate and hoverboards.
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@huntigula: [texting w/ my nana] Me: hey! Mom told me you learned how to use emojis! Her: I ❤️ murder Me: well that's kinda wei.. Her: I will 🔫 everyone
@70Ceeks: son is fuming bc his sister is staying home from school AGAIN. he just opened her door and said "and here's the liar in her natural habitat"
@goldengateblond: Kids today don't know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.