@AndyAsAdjective: You gotta hand it to him. Otherwise, we can't finish this relay race.
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@chuuew: ME: [slowly peeling back sock] It hurts so bad doc, is it gangrene? DOCTOR: [leaning in with tweezers] Hmm, I see, it appears to be... a red Lego
@XplodingUnicorn: [loud crashes] Me: What was that? 4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks.
@TheAlexNevil: Parent Tip: don't tell your child "I'm waiting, I can wait all day if I have to" unless you've actually cleared your schedule for the day.