@bazecraze: You gotta kiss a lotta frogs to get a lotta desperate late-night texts from frogs.
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@just1fool: I used to want to live in the sewers with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when I was a kid so I'd say I'm a success compared to that.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop.
@pattymo: *cocks shotgun* I asked you a question: in order to ride a pug would you rather be shrunk to its size or have it grown to your size