@TGOSPodcast: You gotta love the Internet, sometimes.
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@SamuelHLowe: Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?
@CMHorrocks: These racing car drivers are making a lot of pit stops. You'd think they would have went before the race.
@DaddyJew: Your mom doesn't understand Your dad doesn't understand Your friends don't understand But french fries, french fries understand you
@PJTLynch: Hospitals make mistakes with newborns, so before bringing yours home, check by rubbing its belly. If it curls in and bites you, that’s a cat