@: You gotta Snapchat, dm, and text your girl all @ the same time. That way if you piss her off in 1 convo, you still have two lives left.
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@o__0Dev: Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on. Boom, problem solved!
@Fred_Delicious: "sir, can i ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?" "officer, I'm..." *turns to camera* "double jointed" *cop starts breakdancing*
@iwearaonesie: Hell hath no fury like a toddler who can’t get the dinosaur on his shirt to eat its food
@WetzelGeek: Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.