@famouscrab: you gotta turn your phone off when you fly in case an old plane text you and your new plane get jealous
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@stephenjmolloy: [Job interview] "What are your strengths?" Me: I fall in love easily. "Erm, okay... what are your weaknesses?" Me: Those blue eyes of yours.
@heatherlou_: "IT WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!!!" I yell at the guy next to me at the red light while tweezing stray hairs from my chin.
@JermHimselfish: The worst thing about wearing a turtleneck is not being able to get up off of your back if you fall over.