@FreshTerritory: You guys are even more beautiful now that I'm wearing my "wine glasses".
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@noduffers: I just called one ex a calculator and another a potential murder victim so if you're looking for metaphors, I'm probably the grapefruit.
@offbeatoliv: interview: problem solving skills? me: i once fit 9 people into a 1986 Toyota Corolla
@BatmanOffDuty: *Indian sending smoke signals* Buffalo... Coming... *other Indian replies* New... Fire... Who... Dis?
@thatdutchperson: Just called the bank for my account info and a voice whispered 'If you break the pack in half, Ramen noodles can last you two days.'