@FreshTerritory: You guys are even more beautiful now that I'm wearing my "wine glasses".
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@Brianhopecomedy: Cashier: "Sir, the toilet paper you're buying goes on sale tomorrow." "COOL, I'LL CHECK WITH MY FAMILY TO SEE IF THEY CAN HOLD IT IN."
@Cpin42: My son challenged my wife & I to a game of hide-and-seek. We took off for the weekend and left him some food. In your face, loser!