@Reverend_Scott: You guys, how can true love still exist if we don't have mixed tapes anymore?
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@aecide: Omg someone broke into my professor's house & stole his laptop so my class today has been cancelled. I gotta find this person & thank him.
@RealDMK: I think High School birth control classes should just be forcing the students to watch videos of me taking my 3 kids to the grocery store
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Who ate all the cookies? 5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn’t see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.
@WetzelGeek: Woke up this morning with a pillow over my face, hearing someone muttering "...it would be so easy..."