@therealeatwood: You guys I found a great deal on pumpkins and bus drivers
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@dafloydsta: [job interview] "What's your greatest weakness?" I'm always hungry "That's not what I-" *takes out a cake* Also, I don't like to share
@chuuew: Wife: Want do you want for dinner? Me: Surprise me. Wife: I used to be a man. Me: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pizza.
@gwatts77: Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person's confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
@RobDenBleyker: "Poor" is an odd word because when you put it in front of "people" it's sad but when you put it in front of "bladder control" it's hilarious