@dysalexia: You guys I found this new great birth control called pregnant women posting pictures on Facebook.
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@50NerdsofGrey: 'Tell me you want me' he ordered. 'I want you' she said. 'Now tell me you need me.' 'I need you' she sighed. She hated calling tech support.
@TheOldFolksHome: Sue: I'm off to the hairdressers, what sort of cut would make me look beautiful? *giggles* Stan: A power cut.
@nbadag: [me at 22] in a hurry, better run up this flight of stairs [me at 32] i threw out my back because the toaster startled me