@dysalexia: You guys I found this new great birth control called pregnant women posting pictures on Facebook.
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@Sarcasticsapien: So many people are worried that The Walking Dead could happen and I'm over here terrified that Idiocracy is actually happening.
@MissBamantha: Nothing in the history of the English language has backfired more than the phrase "calm down."
@iAmDelFreaky: In elementary I got all the chicks because my box of crayons had a built-in sharpener. Been on a dry spell ever since. Just me & my crayons.
@joeljeffrey: I have a stalker now and it's super creepy. She shows up wherever I go... her house, her job, the women's restroom. I don't know what to do.