@SirEviscerate: You guys, I just submitted a tweet to Twitter, and they accepted it and put it on their website!
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@xLiserx: *First Date* Me: *Flirting* You have to promise not to fall in love with me. Him: There's cheese in your hair. And we haven't eaten yet.
@Bagyants: Student loans: because you should know what it's like to be one of the poor people you're always going on about