@GavinProbably: You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
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@astutenewf: Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags? Me: Kidding? At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.
@adamrensch: People always say "Wow, your baby looks so much like you," as though it's supposed to defy genetics & look exactly like a coffee mug.
@bopinklady: Husband is leaning dangerously out of window whilst he cleans it. Only thing stopping me from shoving him out is that he cleans the windows