@shkeeber: You guys, my mom wants to know if any of you are going to give her grandchildren.
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@Swain_Train47: My favorite thing to do in cities is walk down busy sidewalks, pass by people, and say into my phone "Target is on the move.”
@9to5Life: "911, what's your emergency?" "My kids are being jerks." "Hey, Christian, you can't keep calling here." "Are you gonna send help?" "..."
@TheCiscoKidder: Wife: Go out for breakfast? Me: Sure! Wife: Ok, let me shower first. *showers, dresses & puts on makeup* Me: Where should we have lunch?
@torrami: My parents and teachers said I could be anything I wanted but I'm 28 now and I'm still not a hot Asian girl named Bang Bang :(