@Tbone7219: You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about shit ....?
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@MarlonBrandNO: I stuffed my mom last night. I know you're thinking I have an Oedipus complex and that's gross but jokes on you I'm a taxidermist
@JohnLyonTweets: This haunted house sucks. It's just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, this is real life? NOOOOOOOOOO!
@bigmacher: #IHaveJustEnoughMoneyTo pay my phone bill so I can call my credit card company to tell them I don't have money to pay them.
@mompsychologist: 5yo and her friend just ended an argument by deciding they would "have a piece of cheese and calm down" So, yeah, she's mine.