@TheRolo: You guys talk about sex like it's so great. I had sex once and she made me take off my jean jacket. Just not worth it.
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@WheelTod: *Showing Pet Sematary to 6yo daughter "Anyway, this is what happens to kids who don't learn how to spell."
@River_Niles: A white American told me I shouldn't call myself "British" because brown people aren't native to Britain. A white American White. American.
@DontTouchMyWine: Whoa. Wait a minute. So those stick figures on your car aren’t for pedestrians you ran over? Damn it! *starts scraping off her stickers*
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know how fast you were going? "55?" Cop: Faster. "217." Cop: Um, no, 72. "24?" Cop: I already told y- "Negative 6?" Cop: Get out.