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@_youhadonejob1: You Had One Job!
@Thynebear: Bruce Willis is never content with how hard he dies.
@AverageClo: On a scale from 1 - overweight black woman, how confident are you?
@Cheeseboy22: If I was speaking a foreign language on Game of Thrones, I'd throw a couple of "yabba dabba do's" in there to see if anyone notices.
@pleatedjeans: At marathons I like to put glitter in cups so when participants grab one and throw it in their face they get a party instead of hydration
@UnicornSyrup: My teacher always hated my answers to her math questions. "If I have 6 candy bars in one hand and 7 in the other, what do I have?" Diabetes?