@_youhadonejob1: You Had One Job!
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@SlabBaconBP: How to make your girl feel special: 1) Write down how you feel about your drink or drug of choice. 2) Put her name on it & give it to her.
@Book_Krazy: Accidentally got in the 10 items or less line with 11 items again, so I made two separate transactions so I wouldn't piss anyone off.
@Underchilde: My girlfriend told me to “tread lightly.” So when I ran over her, I drove really slow.