@tastefactory: "YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER" - salt
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@TheTimmyToes: [JanSport keynote address] (audience grumbling) "where is he?" *CEO emerges from backpack on stage* *crowd goes nuts*
@Sorrowscopes: Virgo: Today fortunes will be reversed! You will abduct an alien and none of its friends will believe you.
@SteveSackington: I'm not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
@jjhartinger: hubs: why the makeup? me: we're cooking dinner together. him: and... me: and, I want to look nice when the police arrive.