@tastefactory: "YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER" - salt
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@Snikoggs: [Job Interview] "It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17 X 19?" "36" "That's not even close" "But it was quick"
@MondayPajamas: My cleaning lady always leaves me a list of supplies she needs to clean the house. Not sure what she needs 20 boxes of cold medicine though
@ch000ch: therapist: im glad u overcame ur fear of snakes and all but- me, with a snake: ur gonna say i shouldn't have married this snake aren't u