@NikiWithIssues: You have a smile that could light up a whole psych ward. <3
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@tastefactory: SOLDIER: Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Foxtrot Lima Yankee India Sierra Delta Oscar Whiskey November CAPTAIN: Lima Oscar Lima!
@MoistPork: Genius move, Romeo & Juliet, for killing yourselves instead of getting married and spending the rest your lives wanting to kill each other.
@notalogin: Wife: You're shirtless? *nods* W: And covered in...oil? -Well, you know how you always say I never glisten? W: Listen. You never listen. -Oh
@iwearaonesie: wife *buying dinosaur balloons* clerk: Is it someone's birthday? *smiles at toddler* wife: It is clerk: How old? wife: 35