@YasmeenMS: 'You have an important event coming up? OwmeeGod, count me in!' -pimples.
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@theshamingofjay: Just realized why my Grandpa called his sideburns thigh ticklers Excuse me guys while I go walk in front of a bus
@HomeProbably: "Can I borrow your charger?" Me: Sure. *offers keys to my pristine 1969 Dodge Charger Daytona* "I meant for my iPhone." Me: Oh, hell no.
@shariv67: God is like Justin Bieber. I have nothing against him personally, but his fan club is super annoying.