@1_swarthy_dude: You have to kiss a lot of short, black, flamboyant musicians before you can find your Prince.
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@panmidwest: [nervously speeding up as I drive my date past a Taco Bell] SIRI: At frequent destination. Set this address as 'Home' address?
@abhorrent_wife: All it took was a skirt and one strong gust of wind and all of a sudden, my spirit animal is Hello Kitty.
@brandonIee: If I got a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you
@Tmoney68: George H.W. Bush, age 90, went skydiving yesterday. I'm 45 & I strained my hamstring getting out of my car.