@1_swarthy_dude: You have to kiss a lot of short, black, flamboyant musicians before you can find your Prince.
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@TheToddWilliams: [principal's office] "Your child's previous school indicates you're a bit of a helicopter parent." Velociraptor: That's got to be a typo.
@glenyrd: I'm so glad we could finally reconnect after all these years because I'd really like your help on my virtual farm.
@freshestginger: If I got a boyfriend I wouldn't know what to do... What do they eat? How often do they need to be walked? Can they be house trained?
@thejessbess: Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I'm not so sure what I did, but he sent me a text that only said, "K" so it must be pretty bad.