@TheBoydP: You have to love a boss with a sense of humor. Mine just sent me a 7am meeting notice on Outlook and I've never laughed so hard...
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@MarfSalvador: Neighbor: Oh your baby has beautiful big eyes! My wife: Yeah, like his dad Me: *Stares suspiciously at our gardener Sauron*
@ArfMeasures: ME: *takes wife's hand* you know I've wanted to have children for 3 years WIFE: And I've told you *removes hand and sits back* we have to keep them forever
@AimeeHelene1: If Scooby-Doo taught me anything, it's that if you want to kill someone, do it in a retirement community, where pets aren't allowed.