@Lpbinder: You haven't experienced awkward until you tickle someone who isn't ticklish.
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@bridger_w: My greatest fear about not having children is that I might miss out on certain life experiences, such as getting caught in a bitter custody battle
@stevevsninjas: Cop: We found a decapitated body in the bay. Looks like he was attacked by a shark. Chief: Did you get his name? Cop: Sharks don't have names, Chief.
@UrplePingo: In honor of Columbus Day I'm going to drive around until I get lost then make myself at home in the first clearly inhabited house I find