@Lpbinder: You haven't experienced awkward until you tickle someone who isn't ticklish.
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@TankCesar: *murderer looking for me* Murderer: I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me... Me under bed: *cry sings* He's just a poor boy from a poor family
@TeejayRush: Marijuana is not a gateway drug... I have never been smoking weed and thought, "I know what this needs! Meth!..."
@215potter: Back in my day a "selfie," was something you did with the door locked and a bottle of lotion.
@markleggett: "When you wish upon a star, it takes trillions of years for the wish to get there, and by that stage you're dead." - Neil deGrasse Tyson.