@Alyssa_Jolie: You haven't mastered the Art of Twitter, until you can subtweet yourself, while everyone else thinks it's about them
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@Reverend_Scott: NEIGHBOR: dude, that's the scariest costume I've ever seen. I love Halloween. ME: [wiping blood off my chainsaw onto my apron] costume?
@JoleenDoreen: A guy asked me out! Well, a guy asked me if I was going to be the same place he is. FINE, my boss called to see if I was coming to work.
@degg: the cvs cashier asked me how im doing as i put some diarrhea medicine on the counter. "not great man ive got diarrhea" i told him
@generaldietz: me:*pulls chair out for date* her: such a gentleman my mom: *from back of restaurant* YOU'RE DOING GREAT HONEY! JUST LIKE WE PRACTICED!