@Alyssa_Jolie: You haven't mastered the Art of Twitter, until you can subtweet yourself, while everyone else thinks it's about them
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheSwanDon: So my dad was all "stop eating my pills" and then I was like "stop melting into the floor and spinning multi colored webs you talking lamp"
@djdarrellripley: I created a new solvent that will dissolve ANYTHING in the world! (Sigh) I just don't know what to keep it in....
@hazelmotes1: Our Mexican neighbor made us dinner and it tastes like I committed a grave error in marrying a white girl.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Wake up 5-year-old: Me: We’re late 5: Me: The house is on fire 5: Me: Your sister touched your stuff 5: *barrel rolls out of bed*