@AbbeYaar: You haven't seen a woman overreact until you've told a woman she's overreacting.
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@weinerdog4life: Note to self: Take Mila Kunis picture off of vacuum before taking it in for service next time.
@GhantaGuy: It's so annoying when you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them and they don't accept your friend request.
@JaneBadall: When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
@BuckyIsotope: Sir, the children at the petting zoo are unhappy. They think our animals are lame *stares off into distance* We're gonna need a bigger goat