@AbbeYaar: You haven't seen a woman overreact until you've told a woman she's overreacting.
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@MasterSociopath: I mistook the Facebook status box for Google search, and now I don't have to go to family functions any more.
@prttylttleditty: Twitter is where the nerds from highshool shine because we know how to use correct grammar, metaphors, & sarcasm correctly. And we can read.
@SenseiSandwich: *draws a sharpie mustache on my grandma* lol you cant hang loser. passin out w/ shoes on? rookie "Sir please step away from the casket"
@Jenny4ashley: "..so that's the story of Christmas. Questions?" Where do turtledoves come from? "Well, when a turtle and a dove really love each other.."