@eye_spyder: You hear about that roman ruler who found the fountain of youth? Emperor constant teen.
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@SalmaElWardany1: Watching Grey's Anatomy teaches me that if I'm really sad, I should walk slowly down a corridor to a Snow Patrol track.
@IamEveryDayPpl: In order to get my nephews up and ready for church in a timely manor, I told them we were going to Disneyland... They'll be SO surprised!
@SirEviscerate: Your date leans in and whispers "I'm not wearing panties." You shiver. She continues: "I pooped a little and had to throw them away."