@eye_spyder: You hear about that roman ruler who found the fountain of youth? Emperor constant teen.
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@SethMacFarlane: Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends.
@Bentono10: So today I was lookin at a girl bcuz she had a piece of lettuce in her hair & she looks at me and said "I have a boyfriend" ok lettuce head
@DadandBuried: I'm more comfortable hearing my five-year-old repeat swear words in public than I am hearing him say "uh-oh!" from another room.