@ibid78: You kids have no idea how lucky you are. Back in my day we had to shave our jokes into the sides of cats and throw those cats at passers by.
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@RealLucasNeff: [The Bachelor] Some of you will be getting roses tonight... [bee in the back] AW HELL YEAH
@SuperJuanderer: If I was a villain, I would follow superheroes to their normal human interviews for jobs & note what they answer as their biggest weaknesses
@ilovepie84: You would be surprised at how many people will run if you yell "ITS A TRAP" and run in a random direction
@TedBundybitch: 14: what could happen? Me: you could get her pregnant. 14: im not comfortable putting my dingaling in her thingaling Me:*writes suicide note