@jessokfine: You knock on the melon to test freshness but something knocks back
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@frogbunnie: 6:There's a monster under my bed Me:That's silly! There's no such thi..OH GOD IT'S EATING MY ARM 6:SCREAMS ME:KIDDING it only eats kids
@AddledPixie: "Unhand me you cad!" I shriek, before turning disappointedly to see that I've only caught my shirt in the silverware drawer.
@bea_ker: [with father in law] "You know how to pluck a goose, son?" Er yes sir, sure do *stretches goose's neck and plays it like a double bass*