@thecrabbyhook: You know how one lie leads to another? Well, to cut a long story short, my 7yo daughter now thinks she's allergic to owls.
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@daplusk: [date] Me: Have you ever had it so deep your toes curl? Her: No, I'd love that Me: [pulls out 15th century poetry book] get ready Her: um
@WilliamRodgers: It's impossible for TWO dudes to ride ONE motorcycle without it looking romantic...
@ericsshadow: [first date] HIM: Can I call you sometime? HER: [slowly slides napkin over phone] You can't... I lost my phone