@NicestHippo: You know how sometimes you destroy your house & instead of cleaning you're like "Screw it let's just move?" That's why we're exploring space
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@Brampersandon_: ME (wearing Tommy Hilfiger): ready to go? GF: not until u put on something less hideous TOMMY HILFIGER (climbs off me): that was unnecessary
@jwoodham: Just once I'd like to see a celebrity show up to the red carpet in jeans and be like, "Oh, was this today? I was just in the neighborhood."
@704919828: Apparently googling "how to get suspended with pay" from my work computer is frowned on by my employer.
@3_arbutus: There are 363 days till Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable.