@NicestHippo: You know how sometimes you destroy your house & instead of cleaning you're like "Screw it let's just move?" That's why we're exploring space
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@Reverend_Scott: ROBIN: Let me drive the Batmobile. BATMAN: Never. I'd rather let Superman- [wall breaks down] SUPERMAN: OMG REALLY BATMAN: No.
@weenbeans: I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.
@ibid78: [in hospital] -dude what happened? "I got hit by a bu- [a bus taps on the window, does neck slice motion] -I mean I fell down the stairs"
@simoncholland: I accidentally called it an eternity scarf instead of an infinity scarf and now I have to drink my Starbucks outside.