@TheTweetOfGod: You know how when you're in sixth grade and you love someone you express it by being mean and throwing rocks at them? That's Me. I love you.
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@Tups13: The laminator is a device that sounds a lot more dangerous to baby sheep than it actually is.
@Just_Lee_: The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling.
@mantej: I was in a gang once — we used to carry pocket knives & wear all green with blood-red bandanas around our neck. Wait, that was Boy Scouts.