@SarcasticAlly12: You know in a video game when you kept pushing b to get through the talking part but later realized you should've read it? That's adulthood.
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@kingsleyyy: Conservatives after a mass shooting: "You can't take our guns!" Conservatives after a police shooting: "But he had a gun!" I'm confused.
@batkaren: TIN MAN: I want a heart COWARDLY LION: And I want courage ZOMBIE: Braaaaains ACTOR PLAYING COWARDLY LION: W-wait. Where the hell'd Ray go?
@Maxine12333: The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
@AlexvanBeek: Murder is like art, as long as you can bullshit your way into justifying it, someone out there will be like "oh yeah, I totally get it."