@SarcasticAlly12: You know in a video game when you kept pushing b to get through the talking part but later realized you should've read it? That's adulthood.
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@jdbalani: Define Marriage: It's a way through which two people join together to solve the problems they never had before.
@krisv_723: I'm here to make a donation. Nun: Blessings, the orphans could use... *Shoving my kid at her- A brother? I'd like a receipt. For my taxes.
@ReAnim8ed_: Officer, if I can't stand in the shoulder of the road, screaming and crying, then maybe they shouldn't call it the breakdown lane.
@InternetHippo: MAFIA BOSS (ominously): Take him out ME: What if he's already seeing someone MAFIA BOSS: Well then you have to respect that relationship