@TragicAllyHere: You know people ask "how are you still single" to singles? It'd be funny if we started saying "how are you still married" to married people
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@thatUPSdude: I don't believe in mythical creatures like dragons, unicorns, Lock Ness Monster, drama free women. Just joking, I believe in Nessie.
@notseriouslyamy: Enough with the fist bumping. I never understand what is happening. This time I held my hands open because I thought he was giving me M&Ms
@ArfMeasures: CUTE GIRL IN BAR: *walks up, points to my empty glass* Want another? ME: (OK don't blow this) Sure *she hands me her empty glass & leaves*
@BlackCheesePie: this is your brain *points to egg* but this is your brain ON DRUGS *puts egg on pile of drugs*