@MunkMania: You know shit's getting real when someone bets their glass eye at the neighborhood poker game.
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@AllanCresswell: Why do you ask me to press 1 for english when you know damn well you're going to transfer me to someone who doesn't speak english?
@Playing_Dad: *turns on shower* *shower whispers "eat donuts for breakfast" & "get drunk tonight"* Me: Wow, that's some serious water pressure
@stevevsninjas: wife: what's wrong? slug: boss said I work slowly. wife: he's harsh. take it with a grain of- slug: TAKE IT WITH A GRAIN OF WHAT, DIANE?