@sass_slinger: You know, sometimes bad things happen to exactly the right people.
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@jazmasta: Goodnight moon, goodnight stars. Goodnight weird guy who walks past my house on crutches every night. Goodnight house on crutches.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: A coworker just asked me how I stay so thin so I responded "I don't post pictures of my food online" and I think she believed me.